What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR therapy is a trauma-focused approach that helps reprocess past experiences that continue to affect how you feel, think, and respond in the present.
One way to understand EMDR is through the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model.
The AIP model suggests that our brains naturally work to process and integrate experiences. When something is too overwhelming, threatening, or painful to fully process at the time, that experience may remain stored in a more fragmented, unprocessed way.
Instead of feeling like a memory that belongs clearly in the past, parts of your experience can remain easily activated in the present. A traumatic memory isn’t stored as a linear story. It can include pieces of images, sounds, emotions, body sensations, beliefs, and impulses, all connected to the experience.
So you may know, intellectually, that something happened six months ago, five years ago, or even twenty years ago. But when something in your present life triggers that network of memories, that “old” experience can feel surprisingly immediate.
A partner pulling away may bring up the feeling: “I’m going to be abandoned.”
A disagreement with a coworker may bring up: “I’m powerless.”
A critical comment from a family member may activate: “I’m not good enough.”
You may know these beliefs aren’t objectively true. And yet, some part of you still feels them.
That’s an important distinction. Talk therapy can help you understand where these patterns came from. EMDR can work with the experiences that originally formed those beliefs to create change at the source.
What You Learned Then→ What You Know Now
Traumatic or overwhelming experiences can leave us with negative beliefs about ourselves that often feel permanent and true. EMDR isn’t simply about replacing a negative thought with a positive one.
It aims to help your brain and nervous system update the emotional associations connected to past painful experiences, so these new beliefs can become something you actually feel, not just something you know intellectually.
The goal is to help you experience the past from the perspective of the adult you are now, not continually from the younger version of yourself who lived through it.
“It was all my fault.” → “It wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m not enough.” → “I am good enough.”
“I’m powerless.” → “I have choices now.”
“I can’t handle it.” → “I can trust myself.”
What Can EMDR Help With?
Trauma isn’t always one big event. EMDR can help process major, overwhelming experiences, as well as repeated, cumulative experiences that shaped how you learned to see yourself, relate to others, and interact with the world around you.
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Childhood emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, neglect, inconsistent caregiving, chronic criticism, parentification, abandonment, instability, or growing up without a dependable sense of safety.
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Childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, unwanted sexual experiences, coercion, boundary violations, sexual shame, body-related distress, and difficulties with intimacy or trust following sexual trauma.
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Abandonment, betrayal, rejection, difficulty trusting others, people-pleasing, frequent conflict, difficulty setting boundaries, emotional reactivity in relationships, repeated relationship patterns, and difficulties with closeness or intimacy.
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Low self-worth, shame, self-criticism, negative self-beliefs, feeling unlovable or not good enough, difficulty knowing who you are, perfectionism, and persistent feelings of inadequacy.
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Chronic worry, panic, fear, irritability, emotional overwhelm, difficulty calming down, intense emotional reactions, difficulty tolerating distress, and feeling easily triggered.
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Feeling emotionally numb, disconnected from yourself or others, difficulty identifying or expressing emotions, feeling detached from your body, feeling unreal or “not quite here,” memory gaps, and difficulty staying present.
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Intrusive memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, avoidance, startle responses, trauma-related anxiety, persistent shame or guilt, emotional reactivity, and symptoms associated with PTSD or complex PTSD.
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Death of a loved one, complicated or unresolved grief, sudden or traumatic loss, miscarriage or pregnancy loss, relationship loss, loss of safety or stability, and grief connected to significant life changes.
What Does EMDR Treatment Look Like?
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![Two women with natural curly hair in a casual indoor setting, one is an EMDR therapist sitting on a chair with a tablet and the other is a client sitting on a sofa, engaging in conversation.]()
01 — We start with understanding.
Before processing memories, we spend time getting to know you, your history, your current concerns, and the patterns you’re hoping to change.
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![A young girl with dark curly hair sitting on a park bench, writing in a notebook and journaling, with a beige tote bag featuring drawings of city buildings on her lap and a lush green background.]()
02 — We build safety and stability.
Trauma therapy isn’t about rushing toward the hardest thing that has happened to you. We develop resources, understand your emotional and nervous-system responses, and make sure you have enough stability and support to engage in deeper processing.
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03 — We connect your current struggles with past events.
Together, we begin to understand the experiences, memories, beliefs, emotions, body sensations, and historical patterns connected to your current difficulties. Sometimes the connection is obvious. Sometimes it isn’t. Both are normal.
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![A young woman with brown hair and closed eyes, crying, wearing white headphones, doing EMDR reprocessing, resting on a soft cushion with a bookshelf in the background.]()
04 — We reprocess experiences when you're ready.
When clinically appropriate, we use EMDR protocols to help your brain process experiences that remain distressing and unresolved. The pace matters. You remain an active participant in deciding what we work on and when.
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![Three people, two women and one man, having a conversation outdoors in a garden setting with wooden and stone elements and trees around, smiling and enjoying each other's company.]()
05 — We integrate the changes.
As experiences become more fully processed, the goal isn’t simply to feel better about the past. We want those changes to show up in your present life too. We synchronize your growth with your relationships, sense of self, emotional responses, and ability to make choices that reflect who you are now.
Is EMDR Right for Me?
EMDR might be worth exploring if:
You understand your patterns intellectually, but still feel stuck emotionally
Your reactions sometimes feel bigger than the situation itself
Past experiences continue to affect how you see yourself or relate to others
You want to understand the roots of your emotional responses
You’re ready to explore deeper work rather than only manage symptoms
You’re curious about trauma therapy but aren’t sure whether your experiences “count” as trauma
If you’re wondering if EMDR is right for you, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Online EMDR Therapy
Trauma therapy that can happen from a place that already feels like home.
I provide EMDR therapy online through a secure telehealth platform. Virtual EMDR follows the same structured, eight-phase approach as in-person EMDR, with a range of bilateral stimulation (BLS) options available to support the work. For many people, online therapy offers the added comfort and flexibility of doing this work from a space where they already feel safe and grounded.
EMDR FAQ
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No. EMDR does involve identifying experiences that may be contributing to your current difficulties, but you do not have to tell your entire story or describe every detail of what happened, unless you choose to.
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No. You don’t need a complete or perfectly organized memory of your past for EMDR to be helpful. In fact, many clients who benefit greatly from EMDR typically report having very few memories from childhood. We can work with what you remember and what you’re experiencing now.
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That’s actually something we will talk about. Many people seek EMDR after gaining significant insight through talk therapy but continuing to experience the same emotional reactions or patterns. EMDR may offer another way of working with what’s keeping those patterns in place.
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You don’t need to determine that on your own. You also don’t have to define your experiences as “trauma” for them to be worth exploring through EMDR. We can look together at what happened, how it affected you, and what you’re still carrying from it.
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No. EMDR was originally developed for trauma and PTSD, but it can also be used when earlier experiences contribute to anxiety, attachment difficulties, relationship patterns, negative beliefs, emotional triggers, and other present-day concerns.
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It absolutely can. Current relationship experiences can activate older wounds around abandonment, rejection, trust, safety, worth, or connection. EMDR can help explore the experiences underneath those patterns so you can respond from who you are now rather than only from what you learned then.
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Online EMDR follows the same structured, eight-phase approach as in-person EMDR, just through a secure telehealth platform. When we begin reprocessing, we use bilateral stimulation (BLS) in a way that works for you. This may include visual eye movements, auditory stimulation (headphones), or tactile stimulation (buzzers) through a virtual BLS platform.
Ready for deeper trauma work?
Whether you’re ready to schedule or simply want to explore whether EMDR therapy may be a good fit, you can start here.